Flinders St 'Hot Shoe Shuffle'

You know what gives me the absolute shites? It's doing the Flinders St/Fed Square tram stop hot shoe shuffle.

Pretty much every morning I get to the tram stop, glance furtively up Flinders Street to see if there is a tram coming and what number the tram is, then stand in the appropriate spot on the platform to alight said tram.

If the number 1 is coming, followed by the 16 for example, I'll stand in the middle of the platform to get on the 16. And every other bugger on the platform will have the same idea. There will be gentle pushing, commuters shuffling in every direction, all dressed in Melbourne's winter blacks, each person in their own corporate travel pain.

But something always throws a spanner in the works. Maybe there is too many people and I can't get on the 16. Maybe the 1 is quicker, people board quickly, the light goes green, then the 16 comes and stops up the top of the platform instead, too far away for me to push my way to.

And who wants to push anyway? I try not too and I almost tell the bloke next to me to fuck off when he sidles up to me and tries to squeeze on the human cattle tram up St Kilda Road.

Sometimes it takes 10 mins to get on a tram, even though there are plenty coming and I move exasperated up and down the platform, cursing under my breath.

The least they could do is play some music for us. I would love to see a birds eye view of this scene. We must look like Fred Astaire ants doing the hot shoe shuffle.